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Why Is Scream 4 Coming Out?

Apr11
by admin on April 11, 2011 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

It is April of 2011. So why is Scream 4 coming out this weekend?

Don’t get me wrong. I liked Scream as much as any teenager back in 1996. It really did refresh and somewhat redefine horror movies at the time. Scream 2 was alright, back then, and Scream 3 was forgettable.

Sure, Scream sparked the teen horror genre imitators like I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Faculty, and Urban Legend among others, but interestingly enough, the Scream legacy has been carried on the most by the Scary Movie spoofs.

All that being said, do we really need another Scream movie? The third movie came out in 2000. Since then, teen horror movies have been replaced by psychological horror movies like The Ring, The Grudge, and Paranormal Activity, and then by torture-porn horror like Saw, Hostel, and Touristas. (Insert multiple sequels where appropriate.)

Sure, those movies are good and bad to varying degrees, but at this point are we really looking for a quasi-comedy slasher movie? I mean, the Scary Movie franchise has really usurped the Scream franchise. The teenage target audience is actually a lot more familiar with Scary Movie and has probably never seen Scream.

Just think about it, the average Senior in High School was 3 years old when Scream came out. They have no idea who Neve Campbell is, and if you showed them an episode of Party of Five, they would only notice “Jack from Lost.” 

Courtney Cox is currently popular again for Cougar Town, but really, do high schoolers and college kids watch Cougar Town?

Basically, there is no way this movie could even remotely be a critical or financial success.

Which is sad.

We just looked at multiple reasons why Scream 4 will fail, and none of them mentioned the fact that because it is a sequel, and a fourth sequel at that, it is inherently bad. Though I will give them credit for not using a stupid sub-title.

It is a known fact to the average movie viewer that Hollywood relies too much on remakes and sequels. The reason studios usually go to this well over and over is because it’s a guaranteed money-maker due to a built-in audience.

The built-in audience for Scream is a bunch of 30-year-olds with families, jobs, and responsibilities that don’t involve paying money for a horror sequel that is ten years too late.

Then again, there are probably a lot of 30-year-old men who still have a crush on Neve Campbell and have been wondering where she has been for ten years.

…I’m just saying.

 

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This is Taxing – Part 4

Apr11
by admin on April 11, 2011 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Comic
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What’s Friday’s Entertainment – 4-8-2011

Apr08
by admin on April 8, 2011 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

Our Friday Blog segment “What’s Friday’s Entertainment” continues. As is the custom, we will look at 1) What movies are coming out, 2) What movies are tops in the box office, 3) What DVD/Blu-Ray might be better, or 4) a Wildcard of my choosing.

1) What movies are coming out?

  • Your Highness
  • Hanna
  • Arthur
  • Born To Be Wild
  • Soul Surfer

2) What’s tops at the box office?

  1. Hop
  2. Source Code
  3. Insidious
  4. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
  5. Limitless

3) What DVD/Blu-Ray might be better?

  • (Let’s give these movies a shot.)

4) Wildcard!

  • Cirque Du Soleil

Well, well, well. We’ve finally reached a Friday where it’s safe for adults to go back to the theater. After a few weeks of kids movies dominating things, there are three movies that the 18 – 35 (and up) crowd can get to.

If you’re looking for comedy and you’re not in high school, Your Highness is your bet. This is the first movie I’ve actually wanted to see in theaters in 2011. I can’t guarantee that it’s good, but Danny McBride is one funny guy. And I don’t even watch Eastbound & Down, which is supposed to be hilarious.

If you’re looking for comedy and you’re still in high school, you probably love Russell Brand (I do not know why because he is incredibly annoying), and you’re already going to see Arthur. To me, it looks horrible, and I don’t know why anyone would want to watch Russell Brand for two hours, but to each their own.

If you’re out of high school and looking for drama, and surprisingly action, look no further than Hanna. This movie has grown on me after seeing a trailer or two, and it’s getting solid reviews from critics (taken with a grain of salt). This may be one to watch.

As far as the Wildcard, that’s my personal experience. I’m gong to see Cirque Du Soleil for the first time, and I’m super pumped. My wife bought us tickets and we’re going on a real date. Imagine that.

So hopefully we all have fun with our Friday choices 🙂

 

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This is Taxing – Part 3

Apr08
by admin on April 8, 2011 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Comic
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Remember When…

Apr06
by admin on April 6, 2011 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

I’m not that old, but I’m old enough to remember when movie theaters were a fun treat rather than a place people take for granted. I wrote a two weeks ago wondering about the future of movie theaters, but lately I’ve been looking back to what they used to be.

I was a kid in the 1980’s back before these 30-theater megaplexes saturated the quality of movies. This was by no means the hey-day of Golden Age theaters, but they weren’t trash (or at least I don’t remember them that way.) One of my favorite theaters was on old Loews that had these awesome portraits of old movie stars painted (or screen printed) on the upper walls of the lobby.

The theater was set up in the shape of an upside-down “T” with the lobby area running horizontally, and the theater hallway perpendicular leading back. There may have been ten theaters total, five on each side of the single hallway. This made it easy for mom or dad to drop the kids off at one movie, while they went to another, easily walking back and forth to check on the kids. Though this probably also lead to a lot of theater-hopping among teenagers. All in all, the theater wasn’t grandiose, but it was special to me.

Nowadays, theaters have to be specialty theaters to be any good. I’ve mentioned my favorite Alamo Draft House before, but others like Studio Movie Grill are also good. These types of theaters serve a meal during the movie and tend to have special screenings. Alamo Draft House has Quote-Alongs, a Traveling Road Show, and other quirky fun things, while Studio Movie Grill tends to try to do classier advance screenings paired with a cocktail hour. Both are fun venues.

River Oaks Theater

Down in the Houston Area, there is the historic River Oaks Theater that was one of those old grandiose theaters with the red curtains and a balcony and everything. Unfortunately, 25 years ago, they split the balcony in two and now have the main theater downstairs and added two smaller theaters upstairs where the balcony used to be. It’s still a fun experience to see a movie there, and they have a monthly midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show that I’ve been meaning to get down and check out.

Downtown Houston used to have an Angelika Theater that was also a specialty theater house, but unfortunately it closed last year. And I can’t even remember when the Alabama Theater was a theater before it turned into a bookstore, and then closed two years ago.

EDIT: I found this amazing website, called Cinema Houston, that discusses all the historic theaters in Houston. I could waste a whole night reading about these theaters. (And I did.)

All that being said, what happened to the old-timie theater? I mentioned in that previous article that gainfully employed adults with purchasing power would pay for an enjoyable theater experience. That doesn’t mean a 30-theater multiplex filled with hoodlum teenagers, but a 4-screen theater with actual ushers, and a classy atmosphere. and no, those theaters don’t have to show the most recent gross-out comedies. You can screen classics that people would pay to see on the big screen like Lawrence of Arabia, The Sound of Music, The Godfather, and of course Star Wars. Oh, and keep the 3D out of it.

I had a conversation with my dad a few weeks back where he told me people used to put on a suit to go to the movies. (He also said people wore suits when they flew on a plane, but that’s a whole other topic.) Imagine that. Patron actually showing an establishment some respect. Or even showing respect for themselves.

Maybe one day we’ll see a resurgence in the Great American Movie Theater, or maybe this old soul was born in the wrong time.

Alabama Theater

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